![]() Every time we get together, it seems like all he ever talks about is cars."ĭiane is also struggling to find adult companionship, but she hasn’t realized that her interests are all child-centered: "Me and Tony used to hang out all the time because we were both into cars," Huber said. Instead, they lament what’s happened to their friends: In their sleepless stupor, they are oblivious to the fact that they’ve changed. New parents David and Diane Huber are desperate to talk to other people about their babies, in part because their other friends are, you know, not up for 4 consecutive hours of baby discussions. It’s also a metaphor for any friendship that’s based around a thing - work, an activity or shared interest, being outlaws - and what happens when circumstances change. I want to discuss “ New Parents Desperately Seeking Other New Parents For Socializing ” as a nonparent, because this article isn’t just about new parents. I am rarely surprised by an Onion story, but this was a wild journey. "He had practice, either in the split-screen versus mode or in one of more than 30 separate solo mission levels." "There's no way this robot could have learned that much about the effective attack patterns for dual shoulder-mounted plasma cannons on his own," said XJC-46398B, bereaved mother of one of the victims. We have all the tropes: blaming video games, manufacturers and parents, describing the shooter as “quiet” and “sullen,” as well as statements from parents of the deceased - who just happen to be robots themselves. In this article, “Armored Core 2” is the real world, and the video game is sensationalizing it.įor the 2nd time in 2001, The Onion comments on mass shootings through pure satire. In 2001, humans on Earth have created a video game about Mars colonization, robots and fighting in the Arena. The robot-on-robot shooting is blamed on a real-life game - "Armored Core 2" - but the trick in this article is in reversing the proverbial chicken and egg. Also, while the robot names are letters-number combinations, they otherwise seem to mimic human structures of family, society and education. This article imagines a world where sentient robots have existed - and proceated - since the mid-1950s, and yet we still only have PlayStation 2 in terms of entertainment technology. The Onion was 20 years ahead of this week’s talk about whether we should live on Mars with the truly sublime and ridiculous “ Video-Game Violence Blamed In Giant-Robot Shooting Spree. Is Garrett being paid for his work? It’s unclear, despite having helped more than 8,000 Americans.Ī 1999 yearbook photo of the young robot who committed the shooting. The people Garrett’s helped are comforted by his seeming lack of boyfriends and sexual activity. For what it’s worth, this is right when the show was becoming a ratings hit. Garrett receives enthusiastic testimonials from heterosexuals, although every Garrett one-liner sounds like a “Will & Grace” punchline. The Onion’s Bush also endorses comprehensive health care. Bush names our protagonist, “tart-tongued but shrewdly perceptive gay friend Garrett Blaine,” to the position of U.S. While I’m not particularly qualified to talk about this article’s deeper meanings, there are things in the writing itself I want to mention: Not all satire is meant to be timeless, so this article could have succeeded then even if it wouldn’t exist in 2021. The Onion spins a good yarn, as usual, and tries harder than it did in 2000 to make sure the reader knows it’s heterosexuals who are being made fun of - especially folks whose understanding of gay friendship is solely from typecast TV and movie characters.ĭid this story make more sense in 2001’s cultural context? Probably. This issue’s top story, “ Supportive Gay Friend To Counsel American People On Ways Of Romance ,” is one of the out-of-date stories. I wasn’t kidding when I said this issue has only 2 types of stories: timeless and hopelessly out of date. Blaine offers support and encouragement to La Crosse, WI, brewery worker Bob Sharpe, whose wife recently cheated on him. ![]()
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